Lift.Run.Lose

Nothing worth having in life comes easily

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Royally screwed

I just saw 3 out of 4 of my grades for this past semester.  I screwed up, not only did I allow my eating habits and fitness to decline but I apparently did the same thing with my GPA.  My GPA dipped below the minimum requirement (because of a C in my Bible class) I needed to apply to the nursing program next fall for the spring semester.  Which means…. I have just tacked on an additional semester to my college career, not to mention one semester= about $11,000 and I still have to shoot for straight A’s in order to pull my GPA back up and there is still the chance that I may not get it.

I know I shouldn’t make it a huge deal but crap I am 25 years old, if I would have continuously gone to school I would be finishing my masters degree right now.  When the hell am I supposed to squeeze in finishing my bac in nursing, and the masters degree I want in public health and another in nursing and marriage and kids??? And now I am starting to think I might as well just finish my degree in bio because I only need about 3 semesters to finish.  Or maybe I should still try for nursing but since I have almost finished all the pre-reqs I should take on the requirements for bio also while I wait to apply.  Then let’s say I don’t get into the nursing program, I can just graduate with a bac in bio and apply for an accelerated bac in nursing for people who already have degrees. 

Ok, I need to calm the eff down. I think I just needed to write this all out.  It is the summer, I need to relax and get my head on straight for the fall semester.

Filed under frustration I am obviously a lazy fool school sucks and I suck

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I feel like butt today…

I can feel an ear infection coming on and I have 3 finals to get through before I can start my summer vacation.

And I miss my friend but he’s a jerk and I refuse to put myself through that crap again so il just have to endure it.

Annddddddd i gave in and had pizza and now I realllyyyyy feel like butt. :(

Filed under Pizza Sad Jerks

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Talk about temptation…

Portillo’s, 2 Wendy’s, Burrito House, Korean Buffet, Pancake House, Baker’s Square, too many to count Subways, Dunkin Donuts, a bunch of Greek diners, Chipotle, 3 Panera Breads, Culver’s, Pita Inn, Potbelly’s, Panda Express, a ton of hot dog joints, Cici’s Pizza.

THESE ARE ALL THE FAST FOOD JOINTS WITHIN A 5 MINUTE DRIVE FROM WORK.  Talk about temptation!!!! But I refuse to give in today.

Filed under fast food takin over the world FML

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May Challenge to Myself

Ok so my April challenge to myself (which I forgot to past back in April :/) was to not eat from the MacDevil at all, not even drink or a sundae or egg mcmuffin.  I actually made it, despite being soooo tempted.  See McDonald’s is kiddie corner to my school and there aren’t many places to eat around there that serve okay non-school food.  So anyway I made it throughout April without eating there. 

Unfortunately, I just happened to eat everywhere else! I checked my bank statement last week and calculated that I spent $242 on dinners, lunches and crap!! Seriously WTF, no wonder I haven’t lost any weight.  So the May challenge is no eating out at all! no fast food, no dinners, no lunches out! I brought my own lunch today, greens, chicken, a cheese stick and grapes.  (Oh great, my co-worker just walked in and she is eating what has got the be the best looking slice of pizza I have ever seen! Crap, my mouth is watering.)

Anyway, I will be doing my grocery shopping later today or tomorrow and planning out  my meals.

Filed under fitspo weight loss food

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weight-a-second:


They told me the big black Lab’s name was Reggie, as I looked at him lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly. I’d only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.
But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn’t hurt. Give me someone to talk to. And I had just seen Reggie’s advertisement on the local news. The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn’t look like “Lab people,” whatever that meant. They must’ve thought I did.But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes and a sealed letter from his previous owner.See, Reggie and I didn’t really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too.Maybe we were too much alike.I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that. “Okay, Reggie,” I said out loud, “let’s see if your previous owner has any advice.”____________ _________ _________ _________To Whomever Gets My Dog:Well, I can’t say that I’m happy you’re reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie’s new owner. I’m not even happy writing it. He knew something was different.So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you.First, he loves tennis balls. The more the merrier. Sometimes I think he’s part squirrel, the way he hoards them. He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn’t done it yet. Doesn’tmatter where you throw them, he’ll bound after them, so be careful. Don’t do it by any roads.Next, commands. Reggie knows the obvious ones —-“sit,” “stay,” “come,” “heel.”He knows hand signals, too: He knows “ball” and “food” and “bone” and “treat” like nobody’s business.Feeding schedule: twice a day, regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand.He’s up on his shots. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car. I don’t know how he knows when it’s time to go to the vet, but he knows.Finally, give him some time. It’s only been Reggie and me for his whole life. He’s gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn’t bark or complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially.And that’s why I need to share one more bit of info with you…His name’s not Reggie. He’s a smart dog, he’ll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. But I just couldn’t bear to give them his real name. But if someone is reading this … well it means that his new owner should know his real name. His real name is “Tank.” Because, that is what I drive.I told the shelter that they couldn’t make “Reggie” available for adoption until they received word from my company commander. You see, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could’ve left Tank with .. and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call to the shelter … in the “event” … to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my CO is a dog-guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he’d do it personally. And if you’re reading this, then he made good on his word.Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family. And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family, too, and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way heloved me.If I have to give up Tank to keep those terrible people from coming to the US I am glad to have done so. He is my example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.All right, that’s enough. I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter. Maybe I’ll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me.Thank you,Paul Mallory____________ _________ _________ _______I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure, I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the SilverStar when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at half-mast all summer.I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.“Hey, Tank,” I said quietly.The dog’s head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.“C’mere boy.”He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn’t heard in months. “Tank,” I whispered.His tail swished.I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried myface into his scruff and hugged him.“It’s me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me.” Tank reached up and licked my cheek.“So whatdaya say we play some ball?” His ears perked again.“Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?”Tank tore from my hands and disappeared into the next room. And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.”

Actually crying so hard right now. So many tears.

weight-a-second:

They told me the big black Lab’s name was Reggie, as I looked at him lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly. I’d only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.


But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn’t hurt. Give me someone to talk to. And I had just seen Reggie’s advertisement on the local news. The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn’t look like “Lab people,” whatever that meant. They must’ve thought I did.

But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes and a sealed letter from his previous owner.

See, Reggie and I didn’t really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too.
Maybe we were too much alike.

I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that. “Okay, Reggie,” I said out loud, “let’s see if your previous owner has any advice.”
____________ _________ _________ _________

To Whomever Gets My Dog:

Well, I can’t say that I’m happy you’re reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie’s new owner. I’m not even happy writing it. He knew something was different.

So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you.

First, he loves tennis balls. The more the merrier. Sometimes I think he’s part squirrel, the way he hoards them. He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn’t done it yet. Doesn’t
matter where you throw them, he’ll bound after them, so be careful. Don’t do it by any roads.

Next, commands. Reggie knows the obvious ones —-“sit,” “stay,” “come,” “heel.”

He knows hand signals, too: He knows “ball” and “food” and “bone” and “treat” like nobody’s business.

Feeding schedule: twice a day, regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand.

He’s up on his shots. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car. I don’t know how he knows when it’s time to go to the vet, but he knows.

Finally, give him some time. It’s only been Reggie and me for his whole life. He’s gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn’t bark or complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially.

And that’s why I need to share one more bit of info with you…His name’s not Reggie. He’s a smart dog, he’ll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. But I just couldn’t bear to give them his real name. But if someone is reading this … well it means that his new owner should know his real name. His real name is “Tank.” Because, that is what I drive.

I told the shelter that they couldn’t make “Reggie” available for adoption until they received word from my company commander. You see, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could’ve left Tank with .. and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call to the shelter … in the “event” … to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my CO is a dog-guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he’d do it personally. And if you’re reading this, then he made good on his word.

Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family. And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family, too, and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he
loved me.

If I have to give up Tank to keep those terrible people from coming to the US I am glad to have done so. He is my example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.

All right, that’s enough. I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter. Maybe I’ll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.

Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me.

Thank you,

Paul Mallory
____________ _________ _________ _______

I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure, I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver
Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at half-mast all summer.

I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.

“Hey, Tank,” I said quietly.

The dog’s head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.

“C’mere boy.”

He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn’t heard in months. “Tank,” I whispered.

His tail swished.

I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my
face into his scruff and hugged him.

“It’s me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me.” Tank reached up and licked my cheek.

“So whatdaya say we play some ball?” His ears perked again.

“Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?”

Tank tore from my hands and disappeared into the next room. And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.”

Actually crying so hard right now. So many tears.

(Source: stephaniekilbury)

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What is wrong with me?

I honestly do not know how far this has to go until I get the point!  I must be a seriously closeted massochist or something.  I have been working out at least 3x a week which is not as much as I want to do but with my school/work schedule it’s better than the 0 times I was going before I got a trainer.  So I train twice a week with him, the workouts are brutal and it’s been almost 5 weeks now.  Now I don’t like to judge my progess by the number on the scale because I know it can mess with your head but damnit I did it, I stepped on it.  I had last stepped on it last about 3 wks into training because my clothes were feeling looser (well, actually not as tight lol) and found that I had lost about 5 lbs.  BUT then came Easter (I had given up soda and candy for Lent), well boyyyyy did I go to town with the sugar.  So my clothes fit tightly again, and the number on the scale has gone back up.  Ugh what is wrong? Training is expensive, why am I wasting my money if I am not putting in my part of the effort to see results? I know I have gotten stronger since I started and that’s great and all but damnit I need to rid myself of this fat. 

Oh and on a side note there must be something wrong with my eyes because I will look in the mirror before I leave the house, hair looks good, makeup looks good, no seriously obvious rolls hanging out. And then I see a photo of myself or worse video (like today) and I am like WTF who the hell is that? I swear I don’t see that in the mirror… maybe I am just being too critical of myself or maybe it is an eye thing.  Either way I am frustrated.  I want to blame my crappy eating on school and being busy and I guess that has something to do with it but when it comes to it… that is such a BS excuse! I want this really bad… I am investing money and time in myself…. I need to make an effort to do better because in the end this is for MY benefit.

Damnit I hate to plan and make food.  I need a personal chef (crosses fingers to win the lottery :)

Ehh sorry for this negative rant but I had to get this off of my chest.

Filed under where's the motivation? Waste of money WTF exercise lazy busy

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Dinner

So I didn’t give into my junk food cravings the other night and went to Whole Foods yesterday for lunch.  OMG their hot bar food is soooo good.  Anyway I decided a few weeks ago that when I can I will buy organic food.  So yesterday aside from lunch at Whole Foods I bought potatoes, carrots, meat, turkey, kale and other stuff.  So this pic below is my attempt at dinner/lunch for the week.  I just added the meat, potatoes, zucchini, tomato, onion and carrots water salt n pepper into the crock pot and we’ll see how it tastes in a few hours. 

photo.JPG

Filed under food organic fitspo cooking